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So when are you going to get back to "normal," What is normal anyway? Are any of us ever normal?
After loosing your baby there is going to be a new normal. Normal for you might be crying
when ever you see something pink and small, or it could be getting angry when you see a pregnant women.
This IS normal, normal for us, those of use that lost our beloved babies.
There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, do not feel like you are a bad person because you are having these
emotions. You ARE a person. It is okay to say no to those baby showers invites until you feel you are ready.
These are normal healthy emotions. It is all part of grieving for our beloved children.
So next time someone says to you, "Hey, when are you going to be back to normal." Just reply,
"I am normal, this is perfectly normal"
you did nothing to deserve this and nothing
you could have done would have changed it.
Make sure to take care of you. Go to your
appointments, eat, sleep and cry.
Remember everyone's loss is different, you
and your partner may deal with the loss in
different ways, and that is okay!
Don't feel bad about calling your health care
provider. They want to help you. If they
didn't they would not be in this field.
Do things at your own pace. You may have
days when you feel great, there may be days
where you do not want to get out of
bed...that is okay!!!
Just breath....take it one day at a time.
Draw a circle. This circle is your life.
Draw a slightly smaller circle inside of the first circle.
It's okay if the edges touch in some places. This circle is your grief.
Now you can see that your grief almost totally fills your life.
There isn't room for anything else. Your life and your grief are one.
Now draw another circle the same size as your grief circle.
This circle is still your grief.
Draw a larger circle around it. This is your life in the future.
Your grief is still there, still the same size, but now there is space around it for other aspects of your life. As
time goes on, the circle of your life grows and includes many other things, but your grief remains. It doesn't
go away. It doesn't get smaller. But now there is room for other things and you are not always focused on
the grief. You can laugh at a joke, go to a party, get a new job, maybe have living children, but your circle of
grief is still there.
