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have helped me, or things I have learned since the
loss of my daughter.
Make sure to take care of you. Go to your
appointments, eat, sleep and cry.
Remember everyone's loss is different, you
and your partner may deal with the loss in
different ways, and that is okay!
Don't feel bad about calling your health care
provider. They want to help you. If they
didn't they would not be in this field.
Do things at your own pace. You may have
days when you feel great, there may be days
where you do not want to get out of
bed...that is okay!!!
Just breath....take it one day at a time.
pregnancy or infant loss.
Please don't say it was "for the best"... it wasn't,
would you say that to someone that lost a teenager?
Please don't call the baby it, "it" was a persons
hopes and dreams, it IS a baby.
Sometimes we just need to cry... Please don't
change the subject when we talk about the baby.
Cry with us.
Please try to remember important dates, like the
baby's birthday/ anniversary of death/ m/c date.
These days will be extra hard for us.
Please do not compare the loss of the baby to
another loss. Each loss is different, it is not like
the loss of a pet, a friend, a parent or even a
another child, every ones loss is different.
Draw a circle. This circle is your life.
Draw a slightly smaller circle inside of the first circle.
It's okay if the edges touch in some places. This circle is your grief.
Now you can see that your grief almost totally fills your life.
There isn't room for anything else. Your life and your grief are one.
Now draw another circle the same size as your grief circle.
This circle is still your grief.
Draw a larger circle around it. This is your life in the future.
Your grief is still there, still the same size, but now there is space around it for other aspects of your life. As
time goes on, the circle of your life grows and includes many other things, but your grief remains. It doesn't
go away. It doesn't get smaller. But now there is room for other things and you are not always focused on
the grief. You can laugh at a joke, go to a party, get a new job, maybe have living children, but your circle of
grief is still there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to remember your baby. Many of us loss mom's have
very few pictures of our little ones, or no pictures at all! It is important to find other ways to remember them.
Some Ideas:
Planet a flower garden, we planted a Rose Garden
Hang Angel Art Work
Wear Awareness Jewelry
Make a website, Yahoo has free websites
Pick a symbol to remember them with, maybe people use dragonflies or butterflies.
I personally am not a tattoo person, but some people get a tattoo
If you have an early loss give your baby a neutral name so you can refer to them with out saying "it"
Purchase a doll or teddy bear the same size as you baby,
